Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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