And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
