I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize