Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
