Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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