real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
