shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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