im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
