dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
