i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
