So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
