And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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