Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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