Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm bleeding and have questions
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
