Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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