Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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