yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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