i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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