She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
