There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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