I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
