wat bout pragnant strippers??
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
