so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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