i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
