me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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