R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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