Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
