We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
