I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
is wine microwaveable?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
