um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
