i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize