there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
