Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
