Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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