I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
