Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
