Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
