I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
