I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
