Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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