Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
