i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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