Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
