Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
