she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
