He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize