We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you win again, gameday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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