i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
