I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
