real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
