I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
