i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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