the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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