i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
