oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
