She said her name was "party"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
