i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
