two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
