his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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