I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
