Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
