I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My dick has a subreddit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
