when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
