the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I enjoy the company of your penis
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
