The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
