thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
