I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
