I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize