Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
