thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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