Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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