She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ok first of all what the fuck
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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