so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
