I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
