Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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