Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
