8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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