i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
