Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Randomize
