that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
