This girl is more easily done than said...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
