I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize