Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
