remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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