Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
