Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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