Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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