I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
and she was petting her beer can
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
