i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
