You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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