I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize