thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
